Today I was sitting with the little man watching one of his ghost shows and there happened to be a little boy with autism on the show. The little boy on the show was non-verbal and he was very intrigued. Little man knows he has autism...we've never hid that fact from him. It is not an excuse. It is not a crutch. It is a fact of our lives and we deal with it and move on. We don't have any other option.
So he asks me,"Why doesn't he talk? I have autism and I can talk." So I talked to him about how, for a very long time, he didn't talk either and it was very hard because we didn't know what he wanted or needed. I also told him how very proud we were of all of the hard work he had done (hours and hours of therapy...for years!) and how he had done amazing things and that some people weren't sure if he would ever talk. That made him happy. Which, of course, made momma happy!
Then I asked if he remembered when he wasn't able to talk. The kid has a memory like an elephant...he seriously remembers stuff that I don't...minute details of things that happened years ago. Even things from a time in his life that he probably shouldn't remember...like stuff from when he was an infant. Creepy and amazing at the same time. He sat there for a minute and said, "Yeah, I remember...it was bad. I didn't like it. I don't want to talk about this. All you want to do is talk, talk, talk!" Haha! Emotions and junk like that stress the poor kid out! Ok, ok! I know when to stop!
I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that he remembers that time of his life. I guess there is a part of me that kind of wishes he didn't remember...it was such a hard, stressful time in his life and as his momma I want to protect him. I know how hard it was on Jeff and I...I can imagine how hard it was on him. It is not something I care to do again, but going through it made us the family we are today. But then I don't want to discount it and sweep it under the rug like it never happened. It was hard...soooo hard, but I guess it is good that he remembers. He's come such a long way...and it's always good to remember where you've come from...where you've been... and where you're going.